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| Here it is..the last day of 7, month 1. The last day of eating only chicken, green beans, sweet potatoes, almonds, whole wheat bread, apples, and bananas.
I cannot believe that I made it this long. There were days when my entitlement told me to quit. There were days were I felt so tempted to just eat anything other than my 7 foods, just to rebel. I didn't because of the hope that God would change me through this. And He has. I felt hungry. I felt tired. I physically hurt some days. I had headaches. And all of this, every second, God has used for good. I feel like I have been emptied out, and filled back up with purpose. It needed a whole month to work its course. If I had done this for any shorter amount of time, I would've just gone through the motions. I got to a point where the good emotions of doing this were gone. I wanted to complain and just quit. I sat at restaurant after restaurant, either not eating, or eating a piece of grilled chicken. My whole foods were not appealing until I realized that they were. All of the excess had clouded of vision of where joy and true reliance on God occur. If God will provide for the birds, will he not provide for me? (Matthew 6:26). I never really understood fasting until this month. Fasting is not a feel good, happy spiritual practice. Yes, it can bring great joy, but it is difficult. It is not easy. It means suffering, going without, and letting God change you. Fasting is hard. When Jesus was fasting for 40 days and 40 nights, he was allowing Himself to emptied out physically so that God could fill him up and prepare Him for His ministry. He was tempted and tried in the desert. He was offered all the kingdoms of the world, to quit and follow Satan. Satan tried to get Him to challenge God and be disobedient. Jesus would not. He would not yield to temptation and power. He stayed faithful to God and His plan. If the Son of God found it valuable to fast, then why shouldn't we still do this today? We need to be emptied out and prepared for the plan which God had set before us. Jesus' fasting led to the most powerful, incredible act of love in all of history. He prepared Himself to be crushed for our sins, to wear the scars that should be in our hands, and to reconcile us to the Father. So, how does grilled chicken and apples relate to Him? To His sacrifice? Taking away the excess in my life is exposing. It exposes your weaknesses and shows so clearly the ways we are not like Christ with our excess food. And yet, at Day 28, I feel better than I have in years. My mind is focused on Christ and fulfilling His plan for me. My waist is smaller and my heart is so full. Full of the confidence that I can do hard things with Christ. He is the center of my life.
So, Here is my prayer on Day 28. Here is my heart Lord. This is all I have to offer. Let this month begin a new day in my life. You are changing and speaking words of life into me. Please, break any barriers in my heart that would prevent me from hearing You. Please take all the things in my mind that I replace You with and put them in the place they should be, because all I need is You, and I know that now. All I need is You. Help me to trust that You love me. My current circumstances and failures are not a reflection of Your love for me or anyone else. No matter what, Your love for me cannot be changed or watered down. You love me with no boundaries or conditions. God, help me to love you the same way. I love you so much. Speak what is true in me. Change me. Mold me. Wreck my life and my small plans for You and Your plan. Let me not be your daughter who always says Lord, Lord, but Your daughter that says God, I desire for Your will to be done above all my selfish desires and plans. Since 13, You have been my best friend and sanity. Thank you for never leaving me. Thank you for holding me and showing me light after light. You know my heart and love me anyway. Here's my heart Lord, Speak what is true.
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Tomorrow starts The 7 Experiment- Month 2- Possessions. Matt, Callie, and I will be giving away 7 things each, each day. I will be posting them on my facebook and blog. If you see something you need, please take it and if you know someone that could use it, please take it to them.
